I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
If you can't convince them, confuse them
I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose
Some pain is physical, and some is mental, but one thats both is dental
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine
Eat a live toad first thing in the morning, and nothing worse can happen to you the rest of the day
He's so lazy. I've seen him step into a revolving door and wait
A girl phoned me the other day and said .... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home